Understanding Relational Coaching & Empowerment by Haya S. Kalechman Relationship Expert Coach
Typically, couple’s work will benefit people that are unable to set and keep boundaries, that can’t talk to each other without fighting, that have drifted away from each other, that have lost the purpose or the spark of their relationship, or that want to transition harmoniously into a new phase of their relationship (think retirement, menopause, illness or disability). Couple’s work is also very beneficial to people who have decided to separate peacefully and certainly to people about to commit to a long term relationship, as a form of “preventive medicine”.
There are many modalities of couple’s work to choose from.
The best expert/coach/therapist, and the best one for you, will help you identify the “real” issues (as opposed to what you may think they are) that have led you to the situation you’re in, and help you design solutions to resolve those issues, while making sure that you both feel heard, safe and supported.
Issues and solutions are to be understood and applied at a personal level as well as at a relational level. That means that each partner has to do their own personal work in undoing detrimental patterns they have brought from their past into the relationship and that both partners have to work together to create new, healthier and more harmonious ways of being, loving and communicating.
In my experience, those solutions can often be very simple and practical, if not always comfortable to implement (because it’s not easy to change your habits).
My take on what you actually need to do efficient relational work is simple.
First and foremost, both of you need to deeply desire to engage in relational work.
Creating and sustaining a great relationship demands regular intention and attention.
Then, you’ll need to be willing to be (kindly and lovingly) challenged by your coach, to step out of your comfort zone, to learn to create more safety and compassion with and for each other and to accept to feel vulnerable and to be(come) honest.
Finally, both of you will need to commit to be held accountable for the improvement your relationship’s health.
Relational empowerment work, as I conceive it, works not only on the whole person but on the relationship as a whole. It offers emotional, mental, spiritual and practical strategies and tools to create and sustain healthy and fulfilling relationships. It supports you in bringing your full presence, your full awareness, your full intention and your full power into becoming able to help one another deliver what each other needs and desires from your relationship.
Once you are in your relational power; that is once you have committed to standing toe to toe with each other and to do your very best to insist on healthy intimacy between you, then you can create and sustain the relationship you are truly longing for.
Haya S. Kalechman is an international Relationship Expert and Universal Healer with 25 years of experience of coaching and mentoring in the fields of Authentic Communication, Evolutionary Relationships, Divine Sexuality and Boundaries and Consent work. Haya creates bespoke programmes for individuals, couples, groups and businesses. Haya’s approach is heart-led, spiritual and down-to-earth.